MY
DEAREST AND MOST EXCELLENT FRIEND!
What a horrible picture you have shown me of
myself! Oh, I admit that I do not deserve your friendship. You are so
noble and well-meaning; and this is the first time that I dare not face
you, for I have fallen far beneath you. Alas! for eight weeks now I
have been a source of distress to my best and noblest friend. You believe
that my goodness of heart has diminished. No, thank Heaven, for what
made me behave to you like that was no deliberate, premeditated wickedness
on my part, but my unpardonable thoughtlessness, which prevented me
from seeing the whole affair in its true light. -- Oh, how ashamed I
feel both on your account and on mine -- I hardly venture to beg you
once more for your friendship -- Ah, Wegeler, my sole consolation is
that you have known me practically from childhood; and yet, oh do let
me say this in my defence, I really was always good and ever tried to
be upright and honourable in my actions. Otherwise how could you have
loved me? It is possible that in a short time I should suddenly have
changed so dreadfully, so much to my disadvantage? -- Impossible. And
could those feelings for what is great and good suddenly be extinguished
in me? No, Wegeler, my dear and most excellent friend. Oh, try once
more to throw yourself unrestrainedly into the arms of your B[eethoven],
and rely on the good qualities which you have always found in him. If
you will do this, I guarantee that the new temple of sacred friendship
which you will erect upon these qualities, will stand firmly and for
ever, and that no misfortune, no tempest will be able to shake its foundations
-- firm -- eternal -- our friendship -- forgiveness -- oblivion -- revival
of our dying, declining friendship -- Oh, Wegeler, do not reject this
hand which I am offering you in reconciliation, but place your hand
in mine -- Oh, God -- But I will say nothing more -- I am coming to
see you, to throw myself into your arms, and to plead for the prodigal
friend; and you will return to me, to your penitent Beethoven who loves
you and will never forget you.
I have received your letter this very moment,
as I have just come home --