ADORABLE
ELEONORE !
MY DEAREST FRIEND !
I
have been almost a whole year in this capital and only now are you receiving
a letter from me. But certainly you have been constantly and most vividly
in my thoughts; and very often I have conversed in spirit with you and
your dear family, though frequently not as calmly as I shoud have wished.
For whenever I did so I was always reminded of that unfortunate quarrel;
and my conduct at that time seemed to me really detestable. But what
was done could not be undone. Oh, I would give a great deal to be able
to blot out of my life my behaviour at that time, a behaviour which
did me so little honour and which was so inconsistent with my usual
character. Admittedly there were several circumstances that always tended
to keep us apart; and I am inclined to think that the chief obsticle
to a harmonious friendship between us was the fact that third parties
were whispering to us the remarks which each of us was making about
the other. Each of us thought at the time that he or she was speaking
with true conviction. Yet it waqs only fomented anger; and we were both
deceived. My dear friend, your kind and noble character is indeed a
sufficient guarantee that you have long ago forgiven me. But it is said
that the sincerest repentance is only to be found when the criminal
himself confesses his crime; and this is what I have wanted to do. -
So now let us draw a curtain over the whole affair and just learn from
it the lesson that when two friends begin to quarrel it is always better
to have no mediator but to let each one make a direct appeal to the
other.
You are about to receive a dedication
from me. I only wish that the work were greater and more worthy of you.
But people in Vienna have been pestering me to publish this little work.
So I have taken this opportunity of giving you, my adorable Eleonore,
a proof of my regard and friendship for you and of my constant remembrance
of your home. Please accept this trifle and bear in mind that it comes
from a friend who admires you. Oh, if it only gives you pleasure, then
my wishes are wholly fulfilled. Let it be a small token to recall the
time when I spent so many and such blissful hours in your home. Perhaps
it will continue to remind you of me until I return to Bonn, although
indeed that will not be for some time. But oh! my beloved friend, how
happy our meeting will be! For you will then find me a much more cheerful
person; and you will see that time and more favourable circumstances
have smoothed out the wrinkles produced by my earlier unpleasant experiences.
If you meet B[arbara] Koch, please tell her
that it is not at all nice of her not to have sent me a single letter.
Why, I wrote to her twice - and I wrote three times to Malchus and have
received no reply. Tell her that if she doesn't want to write, at any
rate she might urge Malchus to do so.
Before closing this letter I am venturing to
make one more request, which is, that I should very much like to be
the fortunate possessor of another waistcoat of angora wool knitted
by you, my beloved friend. Do forgive your friend's presumption, which
is prompted solely by his great preference for everything worked by
your hands. And now I must tell you a secret, namely, that there is
a touch of vanity fundamentally connected with my request. For I want
to be able to say that I have received a present from one of the best
and most adorable girls at Bonn. I still have, of course, the waistcoat
which you very kindly gave me there. But it is now so out of fashion
that I can only keep it in my wardrobe as a very precious token from
you.
It would make me very happy if you would
soon delight me with a friendly letter. If my letters afford you pleasure,
then I will certainly promise to go on pleasing you in this way so far
as possible. Indeed I am willing to do everything to prove to you how
much
I
am your admirer and true friend
L. v. Beethoven