For my
brothers Carl and [Johann] to be read and executed after my death. Heiligenstadt,
October 10, 1802
Thus
do I take my farewell of thee - and indeed sadly - yes that beloved
hope - which I brought with me when I came here to be cured at least
in a degree - I must wholly abandon, as the leaves of autumn fall and
are withered so hope has been blighted, almost as I came - I go away
- even the high courage - which often inspired me in the beautiful days
of summer - has disappeared - O Providence - grant me at least but one
day of pure joy - it is so long since real joy echoed in my heart -
O when - O when, O Divine One - shall I find it again in the temple
of nature and of men - Never? no - O that would be too hard.