ADORABLE
ELEONORE !
MY DEAREST FRIEND !
I
have been almost a whole year in this capital and only now are you
receiving a letter from me. But certainly you have been constantly
and most vividly in my thoughts; and very often I have conversed
in spirit with you and your dear family, though frequently not as
calmly as I shoud have wished. For whenever I did so I was always
reminded of that unfortunate quarrel; and my conduct at that time
seemed to me really detestable. But what was done could not be undone.
Oh, I would give a great deal to be able to blot out of my life
my behaviour at that time, a behaviour which did me so little honour
and which was so inconsistent with my usual character. Admittedly
there were several circumstances that always tended to keep us apart;
and I am inclined to think that the chief obsticle to a harmonious
friendship between us was the fact that third parties were whispering
to us the remarks which each of us was making about the other. Each
of us thought at the time that he or she was speaking with true
conviction. Yet it waqs only fomented anger; and we were both deceived.
My dear friend, your kind and noble character is indeed a sufficient
guarantee that you have long ago forgiven me. But it is said that
the sincerest repentance is only to be found when the criminal himself
confesses his crime; and this is what I have wanted to do. - So
now let us draw a curtain over the whole affair and just learn from
it the lesson that when two friends begin to quarrel it is always
better to have no mediator but to let each one make a direct appeal
to the other.
You are about to receive
a dedication from me. I only wish that the work were greater and
more worthy of you. But people in Vienna have been pestering me
to publish this little work. So I have taken this opportunity of
giving you, my adorable Eleonore, a proof of my regard and friendship
for you and of my constant remembrance of your home. Please accept
this trifle and bear in mind that it comes from a friend who admires
you. Oh, if it only gives you pleasure, then my wishes are wholly
fulfilled. Let it be a small token to recall the time when I spent
so many and such blissful hours in your home. Perhaps it will continue
to remind you of me until I return to Bonn, although indeed that
will not be for some time. But oh! my beloved friend, how happy
our meeting will be! For you will then find me a much more cheerful
person; and you will see that time and more favourable circumstances
have smoothed out the wrinkles produced by my earlier unpleasant
experiences.
If you meet B[arbara] Koch,
please tell her that it is not at all nice of her not to have sent
me a single letter. Why, I wrote to her twice - and I wrote three
times to Malchus and have received no reply. Tell her that if she
doesn't want to write, at any rate she might urge Malchus to do
so.
Before closing this letter I am venturing to make one
more request, which is, that I should very much like to be the fortunate
possessor of another waistcoat of angora wool knitted by you, my
beloved friend. Do forgive your friend's presumption, which is prompted
solely by his great preference for everything worked by your hands.
And now I must tell you a secret, namely, that there is a touch
of vanity fundamentally connected with my request. For I want to
be able to say that I have received a present from one of the best
and most adorable girls at Bonn. I still have, of course, the waistcoat
which you very kindly gave me there. But it is now so out of fashion
that I can only keep it in my wardrobe as a very precious token
from you.
It would make me very
happy if you would soon delight me with a friendly letter. If my
letters afford you pleasure, then I will certainly promise to go
on pleasing you in this way so far as possible. Indeed I am willing
to do everything to prove to you how much
I
am your admirer and true friend
L. v. Beethoven