My Dearest
and Most Excellent Friend!
What
a horrible picture you have shown of myself! Oh, I admit that
I do not deserve your friendship. You are so noble and well-meaning;
and this is the first time that I dare not face you, for I have
fallen far beneath you. Alas! For eight weeks now I have been
a source of distress to my best and noblest friend. You believe
that my goodness of heart has diminished. No, thank Heaven for
what made me behave to you like that was no deliberate, premeditated
wickedness on my part, but my unpardonable thoughtlessness, which
prevented me from seeing the whole affair in its true light. -
Oh, how ashamed I feel both on your account and on mine - I hardly
venture to beg you once more for your friendship - Ah, Wegeler,
my sole consolation is that you have known me practically from
childhood; and yet, oh do let me say this in my defense, I really
was always good and ever tried to be upright and honorable in
my actions. Otherwise how could you have loved me? Is it possible
that in a short time I should suddenly have changed so dreadfully,
so much to my disadvantage? - impossible. and could those feelings
for what is great and good suddenly be extinguished in me? No,
Wegeler, my dear and most excellent friend. Oh, try once more
to throw yourself unrestrainedly into the armsa of your B[eethoven],
and rely on the good qualities which you have always found in
him. If you will do this, I guarantee that the new temple of sacred
friendship which you will erect upon these qualities, will stand
firmly and for ever, and the no misfortune, no tempest will be
able to shake its foundations - firm - eternal - our friendship
- forgiveness - oblivion - revival of our dying, declining friendship
- Oh, Wegeler, do not reject this hand which I am offering you
in reconciliation, but place your hand in mine - Oh, God - But
I will say nothing more - I am coming to see you, to throw myself
into your arms, and to plead for the prodigal friend; and you
will return to me, to your penitent Beethoven who loves you and
will never forget you.
I
have received your letter this very moment, As I have just come
home -