For
my brothers Carl and [Johann] to be read and executed after my
death. Heiligenstadt, October 10, 1802
Thus do I take my farewell
of thee - and indeed sadly - yes that beloved hope - which I brought
with me when I came here to be cured at least in a degree - I
must wholly abandon, as the leaves of autumn fall and are withered
so hope has been blighted, almost as I came - I go away - even
the high courage - which often inspired me in the beautiful days
of summer - has disappeared - O Providence - grant me at least
but one day of pure joy - it is so long since real joy echoed
in my heart - O when - O when, O Divine One - shall I find it
again in the temple of nature and of men - Never? no - O that
would be too hard.